Relationships

2. Relationships

Relationships play a vital role in our lives and undergo substantial changes in the journey to adulthood, with friendships beginning to supersede family members in providing space for confiding and support[ref]Wrzus, C., et al. (2016). Friendships in Young and Middle Adulthood: Normative Patterns and Personality Differences. In The Psychology of Friendship (eds Hojjat, M., and Moyer, A.). Available from: https://doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780190222024.003.0002. [/ref]^,[ref]Ragelienė, T. (2016). Links of Adolescents Identity Development and Relationship with Peers: A Systematic Literature Review. Journal of the Canadian Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry [Journal De l’Academie Canadienne De Psychiatrie De L’enfant Et De L’adolescent] 25. 97–105. [/ref]. By offering a range of ways for communicating with others, sharing interests, and building bonds, digital technologies may play an important role in sustaining offline relationships and forming new ones.

Sustaining relationships

Data from Understanding Society indicates that 40% of 14-year-olds and 42% of 15-year-olds get together with friends online daily (Figure 6), including on mobile phones, social media or through gaming. This figure is lower for older age groups – for example, it’s 24% for 21-year-olds. This data, as a snapshot rather than a longitudinal trend, highlights potential shifts in the role digital technologies play for young people across age groups, with younger people perhaps using these tools more to stay connected with friends than older people do.

Figure 6: Frequency of 14–21-year-olds getting together with friends online[ref]University of Essex, Institute for Social and Economic Research (2024). Understanding Society: Calendar Year Dataset, 2022 [data collection]. Available from: http://doi.org/10.5255/UKDA-SN-9333-1. [/ref]

See full figure description here.

There is some evidence of positive impacts of digital technologies on building and sustaining existing relationships. Just under half (46%) of 10–17-year-olds say that their online life has had a mostly positive impact on their relationships with friends they often see in person[ref]Raws, P., and Moore, L. (2022). Net Gains? Young People’s Digital Lives and Well-Being. The Children’s Society. Available from: https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/sites/default/files/2022-01/digital_lives_report.pdf. [/ref], while many (72% of 13–17-year-olds) say the use of social networking or communication apps helps them feel closer to their friends[ref]Ofcom (2025). Children and Parents: Media Use and Attitudes Report, 2025. Available from: https://www.ofcom.org.uk/siteassets/resources/documents/research-and-data/media-literacy-research/children/childrens-media-use-and-attitudes-report-2025/childrens-media-literacy-report-2025.pdf?v=396621. [/ref]. A systematic review of quantitative evidence from high-income countries finds that for 10–19-year-olds, the use of social media to maintain existing friendships has a positive effect on the quality of these relationships[ref]Senekal, J.S., et al. (2023). Social Media and Adolescent Psychosocial Development: A Systematic Review. South African Journal of Psychology 53. 157–71. Available from: https://doi.org/10.1177/00812463221119302. [/ref].

Building new relationships

There is substantial interest from a safety perspective in how young people build new relationships online. From gaming platforms to dating apps, digital technologies offer a range of ways to interact with strangers over the internet.

We find that, at least for those under the age of 16, digital technologies are primarily used for communicating with people they have met in person rather than for engaging with new people[ref]Office for National Statistics (2024). Bullying and Online Experiences among Children in England and Wales: Year Ending March 2023. Available from: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/bullyingandonlineexperiencesamongchildreninenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2023. [/ref]. 2024 data from the ONS on 10–15-year-olds shows that one in five (19%) had spoken to or exchanged messages in the last 12 months with someone they had never met before[ref]Office for National Statistics (2024). Bullying and Online Experiences among Children in England and Wales: Year Ending March 2023. Available from: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/bullyingandonlineexperiencesamongchildreninenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2023. [/ref]. Less recent data from 2022 reveals that a quarter (25%) of 16–21-year-olds have a close friend that they have never met in person[ref]University of Essex, Institute for Social and Economic Research (2024). Understanding Society: Calendar Year Dataset, 2022 [data collection]. Available from: http://doi.org/10.5255/UKDA-SN-9333-1. [/ref]. Figure 7 shows the breakdown of this statistic by age, with young people aged 16–18 more likely to report they have a close friend they have never met in person than those aged 19–21. These data points suggest that as young people grow older, they become slightly more likely to build relationships online with people they have not met before, before the incidence of these behaviours seems to decline from the age of 19. This drop perhaps coincides with entering higher education or employment, though without qualitative data on the subject, we do not know the motivations that underpin these observations.

Figure 7: Percentage of 16–21-year-olds who have a close friend they have not met in person[ref]University of Essex, Institute for Social and Economic Research (2024). Understanding Society: Calendar Year Dataset, 2022 [data collection]. Available from: http://doi.org/10.5255/UKDA-SN-9333-1. [/ref]

See full figure description here.

Social media platforms are usually how young people interact with people they do not know personally. Platforms like Reddit,  X and TikTok in particular, are where young people aged 11–18 report doing this[ref]Ofcom (2023). Understanding Online Communications among Children. [/ref]. Other platforms, such as Snapchat and Instagram, tend to be reserved for interacting with people known personally, though even here, young people often receive friend/follow requests from strangers (47% of 11–18-year-olds  weekly on Snapchat, 46% on Instagram)[ref]Ofcom (2023). Understanding Online Communications among Children. [/ref]. The differences in behaviours and interactions across platforms highlight that social media is not a homogeneous concept, and using the term in this way can limit our understanding of the impacts of these platforms on experiences of growing up. The heterogeneity in social media platform use also presents methodological challenges in terms of surveying. For instance, sample sizes for less widely used social media platforms – like Discord and Twitch – can often become too small to report on at an individual-platform level; equally, ensuring good coverage of users of specific platforms may skew the representativeness of the sample as a whole, an issue present in the Ofcom data we have just reported[ref]Ofcom (2023). Understanding Online Communications among Children. [/ref].

Dating apps are another way young people meet new people. These applications allow users to set their preferences in terms of gender, location and other attributes they are looking for in a partner. UK data suggests that 18% of 18–24-year-olds have visited online dating sites, representing the highest prevalence of dating site use in a survey of adults[ref]Ofcom (2024). Online Nation 2024 Report. [/ref]. Polling finds that 10% of 18–24-year-olds have a romantic partner they met through dating apps like Hinge or Tinder, the joint most common way of meeting a romantic partner, along with meeting through university or higher education[ref]YouGov (2025). How Brits Meet Their Partners. Available from: https://yougov.co.uk/topics/society/trackers/how-brits-meet-their-partners?crossBreak=1824&period=1yr. [/ref].

Yet despite the popularity of these digital tools, young people express frustrations with online dating. Synthesis of dating app engagement from Ofcom in 2024 suggests that the reach of popular apps like Tinder and Hinge is on the decline when compared with data from the previous year[ref]Ofcom (2024). Online Nation 2024 Report. [/ref]. An earlier 2018 study of 16–24-year-olds in the UK reports that 21% of those looking for a partner had stopped using the dating sites they were registered with, and 90% reported negative experiences with dating apps, including struggling to start a conversation, getting ‘catfished’ (misled about the identity of the person they were speaking to) or simply finding people who were not looking for the same things[ref]Hansom, J. (2022). Gen Z’s Dating Story: Pre and Post Pandemic Trends. Savanta. Available from: https://savanta.com/knowledge-centre/view/gen-zs-dating-story-pre-and-post-pandemic-trends/. [/ref].

Together, these findings show that digital technologies do play a role in how young people form relationships, with many turning to digital tools to build new friendships and explore romantic connections. Research into whether the longevity of online relationships differs from those formed offline, and if life-stage or age differentially impacts this longevity, would provide further insight into how these tools might be changing the experience of growing up.

Reflections from our Youth Insight Group

We asked the Youth Insight Group about their personal experiences of building relationships online. The group shared that relationships originating online can sometimes lead to strong, positive bonds that would not have otherwise been possible, but also raised concerns around false identities and online safety.

They explained how digital technology enables them to make new friends, including through shared interest communities. For many, it also helps sustain relationships with friends and family around the world, and members commented on the value of this capability.

The group highlighted the importance of having strong digital skills when navigating relationships online to stay safe, and there was some indication that developing these skills required maturity and life experience. Several members said that younger people need stronger safeguards and monitoring online, as they may be less aware of the harms they are exposing themselves to.

There was also some worry from members around how digital technologies might be affecting young people’s ability to socialise in person. Some members shared that digital technologies can offer easy ways of sustaining communications – for example, through sharing photos and videos, and sustaining ‘streaks’ (daily contact with another person) on apps like Snapchat, where users contact each other every day, which are difficult to replicate in person, making in-person communications sometimes more challenging. The ease of online access can also deter some people from engaging in person.

New ways of engaging with technology and developing relationships also emerged in the conversation, with one group member mentioning that they might ask LLM tools like ChatGPT a question, which leads to a conversation. We were not able to explore in depth the impact of conversational tools like this on young people, but the mention of AI chatbots and LLMs points to an emerging area where AI might be affecting the experience of growing up and developing social relationships.

The reflections from the Youth Insight Group resonate with some of the findings from our desk-based research. They offer examples of digital technologies strengthening relationships with others and being used to build new relationships. This group of 14–24-year-olds also point to ways digital technologies may be changing the way young people relate to one another – for instance, creating opportunities for those with social anxiety to practice their social skills in a more comfortable setting – while also expressing worries around online safety and the impact of online communications on relationships. The emergence of AI-powered chatbots presents an additional area of study for researchers, showing the evolving nature of digital technologies and, therefore, the need for responsive research in this field. The Ada Lovelace Institute is currently scoping additional research on AI assistants.

Considerations for further research

The data above highlights the prevalence of digital technologies in sustaining relationships and building new ones, as well as the benefits young people perceive and the concerns they have. Further research into this area could explore:

• Young people’s perceptions of the norms of social interaction with peers, and whether digital technologies alter these norms
• The benefits and potential harms of online communications for young people with social anxieties

Whether interactions with AI-powered assistants – like chatbots – are changing young people’s social and emotional development.